Beyond the sliding airport doors, I could see Susan my Aussie ex-boss and mum-from-home waiting to welcome me back. There had been times when I had thought I would never be able to return. But here I was, and yet strangely enough I was depressed about it. I hadn’t been too sure how I would feel but now I was actually in the car rolling past the familiar sights on our way to the north of the capital, I knew I didn’t want to stay around for another year.
I had gone back to Blighty to have my leg rearranged in an orthopaedic operation after my ankle, which I had broken while still young, had not been properly set in place. With the leg now solved I now knew that my solution for my Madrid syndrome was simple: time to move on. I had no idea how long that was going to take and found it odd that for the first time ever I felt trapped in a city. Everything would depend upon my tour of language academies down south in Sevilla.
I had thought that the heavy heat of Madrid had pushed my body thermometer to its limit, but stepping out at the avant-garde station of Santa Justa in Sevilla was like being greeted by a battery of hair dryers. You could feel your lungs burning when breathing in. Through my short breaths and the high buildings it was just about possible to appreciate, even from that monstrous modern corner of the city, that the place wasn’t as built up as the nation’s capital. There, straight ahead, was the monument I had always wanted to see in Spain: La Giralda.
I found cheap lodgings through the pages of the Rough Guide, in the capable and patient hands of Rocío in her hostal on calle Zaragoza. The building was the epitome of the old South, very andaluz in its exterior character adorned with soft yellowing paint and dotted by ornate balconies and the obligatory interior patio. It was stuffy, creaky and noisy beyond belief as Sevilla’s youth paced past outside on their motos. The street life leapt at you through the shutters, which were my only defence as the windows had to be left open or I would have had the life baked out of me. It was good to be back in Spain though. Good to be back among an outgoing, gregarious and above all fun loving people. But this time I was in Andalucía and I was keen to go out and meet them but first: forty siestas.
I had only one chore for the day and that was to get my CV printed off a diskette before I could go to my interviews I had lined up for the following day. It didn’t sound like much of a tall order but this was 1995 and the city, with more than half a million inhabitants, didn’t have any Internet cafés when I arrived and seemingly just as many places to print from diskette. So, the only option for me was the university. That was how the worst day I have ever had in the city began.
All of the people I approached sent me to a different part of the building convinced that they knew exactly what I was looking for. As it turned out, nobody had any idea where this mysterious ‘Itoria’ department was but that didn’t stop them from insisting. Round and round I went, thinner and thinner became my patience and higher and higher went my pressure until I was on the edge of despair. I had spent more than two hours of chasing my own tail! I felt like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. Nobody had the slightest idea, directions couldn’t have been more misleading and the clock hand was marching on. All the while the stifling air from outside kept on filling the corridors with a fresh supply of heat. It didn’t help matters that the students would say left and then signal right with their hand. They didn’t know the difference between right and left, but this detail was lost on me for at least the first hour until I finally clicked.
Just as I was about to give in I stumbled across a department and went in. All the students looked up not just because I was foreign but principally for the look of utter exhaustion in my desperate eyes. Once more I explained my situation to the secretary behind a counter at the other end of the room, made all the more urgent now by my heavy breathing and empty stare. They hadn’t heard about ‘Itoria’ either but if I wanted, I could print my document out on one of their computers anyway. Then someone behind the desk overhearing asked if I had phoned earlier. At last someone understood me. She was convinced that I had my wires crossed about the odd sounding ‘Itoria’ department but by now I couldn’t have cared less where this mysterious and elusive place was and only agreed with her. Unable to speak anymore, dehydrated and demoralised I knew it would be some time before I regained any good humour. I followed the office worker to her computer and she ran off the document for me. Moments later I left triumphantly with my CV clutched firmly in my hand. As I walked out of the room I looked up and glimpsed a sign above the door: Departamento de Historia. Here in Andalucía they don’t pronounce their S’s, unless a word starts with an ‘S’ and so Historia – with a silent ‘H’, naturally becomes Itoria. I knew then that as far as my language skills were concerned I was truly back at the beginning. They say that the andaluz accent is the hardest to get to grips with - I was beginning to think they were right.
To calm the nerves, release the tension but above all cool the blood I entered a bar right opposite and ordered a pint. Or at least that was what I tried to order. Behind the bar the entire wall was hung with pint glasses, it couldn’t have been easier. I asked the barman, “¿Una pinta, por favor?”
“¿Qué? No tenemos.” He said they didn’t have any. So, instead I just asked him to fill one of the glasses behind him with beer. When he placed it down in front of me I asked him what he called it. “Una pinta.” He replied. I thought to myself, ‘Yeah. I knew you were going to say that.’
That afternoon I slept the southern siesta in grand style. And the traffic, though it tried its hardest, couldn’t budge me from my slumber. That evening I would have nothing else to do but see the city centre built for Emperors, Emirs and Kings before getting an early-ish night before making my assault on the language academies the next day.
Early next morning, and without the need to resort to artistic licence, the heat was already starting to burn through the soles of my shoes as I walked down the broad avenue lined by swaying palm trees. Today was not a day for foot work. I took a taxi.
I had received training in the art of Madrid taxi drivers and there was no way that anyone was going to be ripping me off here in Seville. I had had an overdose of it in the capital. Although I would later learn, that on the whole, the taxistas in Sevilla are a straightforward bunch there were always a few that were not. I had the winning lottery ticket that day, taking one of those chosen few.
I had come for job interviews with little time for anything else, as I had to be back in Britain forthwith. I went straight to work. The school I wanted to see first was opposite the Sevilla football stadium.
Now, to understand the obviousness of the driver’s error you must first appreciate just how much the Spanish love football. The taxistas don’t do the knowledge but even their mother-in-law knows where the local teams are housed.
As fate would have it I had come across the only Spanish taxi driver disinterested in the game - I think not! Interested in football - absolutely. Interested in money - more so. I caught him as he started to give me the scenic route, which resulted in him being first: surprised by the fact I could defend myself in his language, and second: that I had actually bothered to pull him up. My insistence to get out of the taxi and refusal to pay resulted in him stopping the clock and apologising profusely. It was nearly 40º C in the shade so fortunately he managed to persuade me to stay in the taxi.
My first interview turned out to be the one where I would eventually strike it lucky. The academy, though, that morning had others to interview and wouldn’t be able to give me an immediate answer. So, it was left to me to travel the remainder of the academies on my wanted list and then go back to Madrid to wait it out.
Come the end of the day I wasn’t exactly inundated with offers. Despite the heat I afforded myself a leisurely limp along the river. Through the heavy heat haze it was possible to make out through squinting eyes hiding behind my wilting sunglasses some of the glorious bridges that stood across the banks. I walked over scorching tiles with the palm trees crisp from the dry heat towards the Torre del Oro – a twelve-sided tower, and a monument to behold in all its Moorish purity. The fact that it was being seen in almost desert like conditions only enhanced its place on the historical map. But the one thing that had my constant and undivided attention was the heat. It wouldn’t let you ignore its presence for a second, as it bore down on me every step of the way.
My last night was spent around the cathedral drinking in the company of an Aussie keen not to go over his salary allowance and thereby qualify for repayments to the government for his university degree. Every year for the past five years he had cut his employment temporarily so as to stave off the possibility of repaying his student loan. He worked nine months and then on his earnings travelled three. It sounded pretty good to me but he said this would be his last trip. Next year the government could have its investment back. We wounded up the night finishing our last beers in the town centre sitting by a fountain behind the old town hall musing over the city, unknown to us that the missing population was all out en masse by the river only ten minutes walk from where we were. The only trouble was we didn’t know where we were exactly. We had both been impressed by the city but only one of us hoped to be returning within a month to live inside its walls.
The following morning and I was Madrid bound on the AVE en route back to Devon to teach the summer out. I was filled with great apprehension but also with great resolve that this was exactly what I wanted for my immediate future.
I wasn’t going to die a rich man but I was at least going to make damned sure I lived a happy man and somehow Spain, now in the guise of Sevilla, was the way I was going to make this happen.